The movie begins when Hollywood harlots Tori Spelling and Shannon Doherty are perplexed by the overnight disappearance of their sandcastle with a moat they had intricately placed right by the water. The beauties are devoured by the large fish, played by newcomer Kenneth Starr. The monster then reaches its metabolic goals when it travels to nearby Canondale where Carson Weekly is hosting Total Request Dead. The fish engulfs Britney Spears, N Sync, the Backstreet Boys and Lou Bega in one fatal swoop. Particular visual effect is given to Starr's character trying to digest Ms. Spear's silicone. The shark, through an amazing amount of strength, bellows, "Yeah, I'll hit you one more time, maybe two or three more times!"

Katie Holmes plays LaWanda Gnutcase, a graduate student from Johannes Hoppes University, who travels to Canondale with her professor and mentor Dr. Nicholas Yang, played by Jet Li. Holmes does a wonderful job as the character who eventually slays the beast with those brown, puppy dog eyes and that sweet, sweet smile.

Li is probably the best actor in this film, his amazing fighting skills were used many times against Hasselhoff, who plays the disgruntled CIA agent Rider Knight, in search of truth, purity, the shark, and a late-model Pontiac Firebird. Li is constantly annoyed by Knight's relentless screaming at his government-issue Ford LTD, which does not respond to voice command. Often, the movie can move off-plot to focus on the intense fight scenes, which take up an hour of the film.

This movie is far superior to Jaws IV-IX. Barry DeMann, who directed those movies, was so depressed by this movie that he now runs a funeral parlor. Barleycorn's previous movies, which includes the PBS special Lippy: The Lemming With A Multiple Identity Crisis, are no match for his present success. Barleycorn said yesterday, "Um, yeah, like, doobies are not good for sharks...duh...uh."

  Be forewarned! This movie is so good that it is not in theaters. Blockbuster and Hollywood video decided not to stock the film either, for they feared a massive crowd could not be handled by their staff. The only place to watch Jaws X is BadMovies.com, where the Bad actually means really, really swell.